What’s on your Widow To Do List?


I’ve had a To Do List every day of my adult life.  But when I was on survivor spouse autopilot making funeral arrangements, I didn’t need one – I wasn’t going to forget to buy a casket – tasks were written in stone, the funeral director guiding me, family and friends helping every step of the way. After the whirlwind of a two-day wake followed by the funeral, I had a Death To Do List, grim tasks the widowed must carry out:  canceling Robert’s cell phone plan, returning his leased car, negotiating with his credit card companies, dealing with the medical bills – all the bureaucracy of a last breath.  And all those Thank You notes.  Would my dining room table ever be cleared of stacks of sympathy cards,  Mass cards, floral arrangement notes, letters?  Eventually, I crossed off all the items associated with the business of death.  My everyday To Do List was beginning to be about me, with all the changes in priorities and shifts in lifestyle that widowhood brings.  What’s on your Widow To Do List?

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