The Mourning Forecast – Grief Surges


There’s no five-day forecast for our emotions, especially during bereavement.  We can’t predict how we’ll feel tonight, tomorrow or at any point during the Year of Firsts – as well as every day thereafter. What we can expect are grief surges – an unexpected rush of emotions.

We brace for grief on the usual markers, those dates in our calendar imbued with meaning: birthdays, anniversaries and holidays. But there are moments – sparked by a song or the aroma of that signature dish or a glimpse of a photo – that sets us off. Although many times there’s nothing in particular to identify in terms of a trigger, the grief just comes crashing over us.

And it doesn’t just wash over us with sadness, it knocks us down. Grief impacts us mentally (in the form of anger, guilt, anxiety); physically (by disrupting our sleep and affecting our appetite), socially (with the tendency to withdraw), as well as emotionally.

There are no easy answers for coping with grief, but it’s often comforting to know that we’re not alone; others are going through the process – only their version of it. Here’s what we can expect…in the unpredictable realm that is the New Normal.

  • Grief cannot be scheduled, rushed or avoided.
  • Mourning does not adhere to a timetable.
  • There is no antidote for bereavement.

2 Responses to “The Mourning Forecast – Grief Surges”

  1. Karen Sutherland

    I believe that when we speak of being widows “in our new normal” that the notion of new normal is a deterrent to our struggle to move forward. There is nothing, not a single iota of “Normal” in the grieving process after we lose our spouse – and the word, “new” along with “normal” makes me feel imprisoned and stagnant. So I have wiped my slate clean = no more “new normal” for me. I’m moving forward, at my own pace, doing the hard work of grief, mourning, and trying to find me, always with my sights set upon – ta da!!!-
    LIFE RE-INVENTED! Hope you like it – I sure do.


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