My longtime off and on fiancé just died 1/22. He was a serious alcoholic, we are in the middle of a blizzard and have to wait for the wake. The family made all the arrangements.They did not even mention my name or my son,(not his) He left me destitute, I had to watch it. I knew it was coming, the cycles were closer together. I just didn’t think that day, I was numb, it was whatever when he left in the ambulance after a horrifying seizure, I had taken him to detox so may times. He woiuldnt go this time, but some how through this blizzard that has given me more time , I am searching for the strength. and I feel relief even though our lives are going to be turned upsidedown, . Many friends knew the big bad secret, the hell I was living. the isolation. Thank god for outpour of support I have received. I feel like the family, is shoving him under the rug and myself. the wake is in the morning and only 1 1/2 hrs, so many people wanted to come, but between the blizzard and the time I fear being hung out to dry. so tired of the word resilient….