You Must ‘Me’ – Loved Ones of Alcoholics Need Their Me Time
Only the alcoholic can determine what the alcoholic will do–commit to recovery or continue drinking–regardless of your support. The alcoholic determines their path. You should determine yours. It may seem impossible to focus on anything but the alcoholic and the impact they have on your life and your family’s. But you must take care of yourself. You must make time for you.
Does Me Time sound frivolous in the face of chaos? It’s actually a survival strategy. Me Time is a mini spurt of rescue and revive. If you have a family, they are depending on you. If it’s just you, who will take care of you, the alcoholic?
Perhaps Me Time conjures up images of a day at the spa and you have neither the time nor the money for that. Think again. Me Time is whatever you want it to be–going to the movies with a friend, grabbing your book and heading to the coffee shop, attending an Al-Anon meeting, a walk around the block to see some sky and trees. Me Time will be different things at different times. It may provide a time without distraction to think and plan; or it may be a wonderful distraction in the form of entertainment, exercise, nature, or friends. It may also be a bit of an escape.
Me Time is a must. The alcoholic has a way of taking over our lives. Make sure you make time for YOU!
3 Responses to “You Must ‘Me’ – Loved Ones of Alcoholics Need Their Me Time”
It’s almost 5 years since my husband died. Some days it feels like yesterday others a lifetime ago. In the last couple of years of his life I carved some me time in the only way I could – with my dog. Every afternoon, I spent an hour on the beach. It was my sanctuary and I clung on to it for dear life. Even then, there would always be a phone call every day on the walk… where are you? When will you be home? That hour kept me sane. It allowed me to scream at the top of my voice. It enabled me to regroup every day and go back to the awful stress and heartbreak that was my life and still cope (of sorts). Without it, I would have sunk. My advice to all of you still trying to cope day by day, is find a regular bit of “me time” that can’t be controlled or invaded. It probably saved me from a total breakdown.
My alcoholic husband’s death, nearly 4 yrs ago, has taken over my life in a much more complicated way than did his death. I’m lost.
Dear Diane, I am sorry for the loss of your husband. I very much relate how much more complicated the way is after the death. It has been 5 years since my husband died and the ending was much more tragic then his own death. I am grieving still to this day. May we find love and support in sharing each other’s stories. I would like to listen to your story.